I finished reading Rhoda Janzen's Mennonite in a Little Black Dress yesterday. I found it to be an interesting read. At the back of the book there was a conversation with the author. She was asked, "You write briefly in your memoir about having chosen to not bear children. Was this a difficult decision?"
After talking a bit about her husband and their genetic reason for not having children, she says this "You know what troubles me? The notion that we should reproduce because we can. Seems to me we should be able to articulate some proactive, deliberated reasons for bringing a child into the world. When women cite their biological clock, I wonder if they've thought that out. Shouldn't human beings assess their biological urges as well as admit them? What if we're having babies to feel less lonely, more needed? If so, we're using someone to make us feel better about ourselves. That's a little creepy."
This explanation struck me. I wonder why people have children. I wonder if they think about having children or do it because everyone else is. I know many wonderful parents who love their children and who have always wanted children. I wish it was okay to say I don't want to have children. I love children. I love being an aunt and working with children too. I want people to stop asking couples when they are going to have children. This question is my number 1 button pusher. Having children is such a personal decision and we ask people like we ask them what kind of coffee they want. Why is that okay? And why are children needed to make a family? And I could do on and on...
After talking a bit about her husband and their genetic reason for not having children, she says this "You know what troubles me? The notion that we should reproduce because we can. Seems to me we should be able to articulate some proactive, deliberated reasons for bringing a child into the world. When women cite their biological clock, I wonder if they've thought that out. Shouldn't human beings assess their biological urges as well as admit them? What if we're having babies to feel less lonely, more needed? If so, we're using someone to make us feel better about ourselves. That's a little creepy."
This explanation struck me. I wonder why people have children. I wonder if they think about having children or do it because everyone else is. I know many wonderful parents who love their children and who have always wanted children. I wish it was okay to say I don't want to have children. I love children. I love being an aunt and working with children too. I want people to stop asking couples when they are going to have children. This question is my number 1 button pusher. Having children is such a personal decision and we ask people like we ask them what kind of coffee they want. Why is that okay? And why are children needed to make a family? And I could do on and on...
